Sex and the ‘Nighty’

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Have you ever thought….why you find the kone wala ‘Bunty ka Mummy’ really hot. Or when you visit Sheela didi’s house late in the evening, you want to spend some more time, just to see Sheela sway from one room to another, while you listen to Mr. Sharma’s jibber jabber. Raghav, the recently married dude, gets laid like a rabbit, every ‘other’ weekend… Why???

The answers to all these questions have been a mystery, a big big mystery for decades. But one that our folks at looney darindey have been able to crack after massive brain storming sessions and some research surveys. The only answer to all these mind-boggling questions is ‘ONE PIECE INDIAN NIGHTY’.

Cute Nighty

Cute Nighty

The sole reason  why every married man gets laid once in a while. The impact of nighty is so huge, that Indian male should focus on #Thankyounighty rather than #Thankyousachin. Sadly, we have been ignoring what our wives want and spent 24 years of our life watching Sachin Tendulkar play. Our research suggests that a simple investment of 2 nighties per year would have helped them get laid 16 more times every year. The exact reason why you find ‘Bunty ki mummy’ sexy – Her husband pays attention to her and she gets laid thrice every week, hence the ‘sexy joy of getting laid’ is there on her face. She passes this sexual energy in the surroundings, thus making everyone in her vicinity bask in the glory of sexual entice.

Naugthy Nighty

Naugthy Nighty

We conducted a survey  among our 4000+ survey participants. These results of our findings were astounding. I mean you have no f’ing idea.

Q. Do your find a woman sexy when she wears a nighty?

Q. Do your find a woman sexy when she wears a nighty?

We asked the above question to different males from the age 18-54. As the pie chart indicates, around 70% answered ‘Yes’. So we decided to dig further.Hence we asked another question – “Do you find the same woman sexy, when she wears jeans?”, and only 40% answered ‘Yes’. With this, it is totally clear that an Indian man finds the average Indian woman more sexy when she wears a nighty.

We took our research to some 100+ married couples. We asked 100 husbands – “Last time they got laid, was your wife was wearing a nighty?”.

Q. What was your wife wearing, when you got laid the last time?

Q. What was your wife wearing, when you got laid the last time?

As the above graph indicates that no other attire even comes close to the ‘mighty nighty’. So, if an average Indian guy wants to get laid, he should keep buying nighties/ the night gowns (as they call it here) for their wives.

Now, the big question. “How many nighties/night gowns are sufficient for you to get laid? “

According to experts, an average Indian male, post the second year of the marriage gets laid only 20 times every year, with willingness of both the parties. At any point of time, an average Indian woman has 2-3 nighties she can wear. Thus in a month, she can wear her nighties only for 4-6 days. Our calculations indicate that when a women is wearing her nighty, the couple gets laid with 35% probability. Thus, out of the 72 (best case scenario) times she is wearing a nighty every year, the  husband can ‘get it’ only 25 times. You can further reduce 5 times, because of ‘Aaj mood nahi hai’ and other issues (which we don’t want to mention here, because we respect women).

If the same woman is given two more nighties, she will have 4-5 nighties to put on, she can wear it for 8-10 nights. Thus, wearing nighties for 120 days in one year.That’s almost 1/3rd of the year. With the same 35% chances, ‘the he’ can bang 42 times in one year. We reduce 6 for ‘being an asshole’ and ‘aaj mood nahi hai’ and ‘other’ reasons, and arrive at the final number of 37. Now folks, that number ain’t bad for two nighties in one year, is it? So, what are you waiting for, go buy that nighty and celebrate.

Why should ‘bunty ki mummy’ get all the action?

Why wait for Sheela to sway, when you can have a Sheela of your own in your house?

Why only Raghav should get laid like a rabbit, every other weekend?

No more Why’s, as we have revealed the secret, that can get you laid almost 16 more times every year.

Our research on nighties is continuing and we would be posting the sequel ‘Sex and the Nighty 2’ explaining why a men and women find nighties sexy – Stay Tuned.

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