Marriage can be tougher than you think. It is like swimming naked in a pool on a nice sunny day, but with some sharks and crocodiles hanging around. Many people think that marriage will put an end to all the problems in your life. If this was true then every married couple would have been like Jack and Jill who went up the hill to do naughty things.
The fact is that marriage is the beginning of all the problems. Marriage is like a long train journey, where you are stuck with a Sindhi/Guajarati family with Aaloo, Mooli ke parathe in their tiffin box. You know that when that fart catalysing food goes in the late night explosions are going to transform your train compartment into a gas chamber. At times, I think if Hitler had discovered Guajarati food, he would have easily doubled the number. Now that we have re-established the fact that marriage is a dangerous but unavoidable calamity, it is important that you are well equipped for this.
The traditional way of approaching things is to change yourself, but we at Looney Darindey believe in thinking out of the bottle. Instead of changing yourself, train your wife. Train your wife does not mean having multiple wives and asking them to form a human train. We leave that to ISIS. It actually means, methodically modifying the behaviour of your fiancée/girlfriend so that she becomes an excellent wife. Women are coded and nurtured in a particular way, which has a major impact on the way they interact with other people. As we know, it is important for a man that his wife behaves the way he wants, we have developed techniques that make your wife obedient to her master’s wishes.
Why is it important to train the wife?
Every man has a lifestyle which gets adversely and drastically impacted when a woman enters his life. In most cases, this happens because of compatibility issues. Wives in recent times have shown great stubbornness to mend their ways after marriage, which leads to chaos and at times tempts men into violence, which cannot be completely justified.
‘Train your Wife’ is not just a business, but also our social responsibility.
The dreams that a couple has at the time of marriage can get destroyed, thanks to the unreasonable demands made by women, and in some cases men. So it is important that you train your wife to suit you and your family needs/demands.
What we focus on?
Compatibility can be in different areas, which can be mainly classified as – Behavioural, Physical and Monetary. When a couple enrols in our programme, we take full charge of female and put her through our intensive 7 weeks training module.
Girls these days don’t know how to behave. Modern day marriages often involves a lot of socializing. Girls must know how to change their behaviour with respect to the surroundings. The idea is that this should be in line with expectations of the man. We will train the wife in such a way that you can control her degree of openness when she is with your friends, colleagues or boss. Most importantly, we will make sure that she is not an embarrassment for you.
Physical compatibility is a must between husband and wife. Our physical module will train your wife to meet all your expectations in the bedroom department. Whatever you want she will do for you. We will pick up a trainer with a body type similar to that of your (usually it will be from your profession and race). He will train you wife for two weeks in different positions, so that she is not clueless in the bedroom when married. In fact she will know much more than what her ex-boyfriend taught her.
Money is really important for happiness. Without money, there can be no happiness. Hence, we will teach your wife how to manage the funds given to her. She needs to realize that after marriage she will have to maintain a perfect balance of being a good house wife and looking good for her husband. You don’t want an ugly hag around you. Depending on your salary, we will give her money every morning. Our shopping activities will help her develop her brain in such a way that she spends the right amount on groceries and cosmetics. At the end of the day she should have saved enough money to buy a gift for you every month, for your love and care. If the wife is working, we will make sure that she voluntarily transfers all her salary to you and manages her day in the funds allocated by you.
We will teach her how to keep quiet!!!
The problem with girls is that they talk a lot. This is not something limited to modern day girls. Even the cave women used to talk. In fact they never stopped talking, that’s why the men had to go hunting. The women could not go hunting, because they never stopped talking and the prey would run away. We don’t want this jibber jabber to destroy your India v/s Pakistan cricket match or married life, in that order. So we have special duct tape sessions where we train the women to accept defeat in an argument and eventually keep quiet. Peace will prevail!!!
Why Looney Darindey?
This programme is specially designed by the married and divorced men for the ‘to be married’ men. Our consultants know your problems and some know the solutions too. Our programme is designed in such a way that you have sufficient time between your engagement and marriage. In fact this fits perfectly in the E-T-M Methodology (Engage Train and Marry). It can also be customized as per the man’s wishes and the race of the female species. We have built this with a ‘client first’ or a ‘husband first’ mind set, which ensures that you are the one who stays in charge. Most importantly, this comes with a warranty!!! If you are not happy with her, we can do this training again, free of cost!!!
When you cannot chain her, train her!!!
To learn more about the programme, reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org.