Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 1: Khaleesi Gains weight as Arya goes begging!!!

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Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 1: Khaleesi Gains weight as Arya goes begging!!!

Game of Thrones is back. It’s like happy new year for all the Game of Thrones fans, or is it?? If you are not based out of the US, there is a high probability that you have not seen this episode yet, so beware of the spoilers ahead.

Parts of Season 6 episode 1, “The Red Woman” leave an impression that it is copied from a lot of Hollywood or even Bollywood movies and obviously there is enough stereotyping to make cats look cute.

  1. Arya is Blind

We all know that Arya was blinded in the Season 5 Finale. She lost her eyesight and they made here do what all blind people do? Beg!!!

Arya Beggar.jpg

I mean they could have easily helped her start a Telephone booth (or in this case raven booth) out of the government’s disabled or blind quota. Still, they left her begging in the streets of Bravos. Then comes her co-masseuse bitch from the ‘Man Needs Face’ spa, who wants to fight Arya. She starts beating the shit out of Arya as if she wants to train her. This clearly reminded me of Ajay Devgan’s Jigar, (which itself is copied from Bloodsport).

 

2. Wheelchair Doran

From the beating of blind people to killing of lame people. Doran Martell an otherwise peaceful character was murdered by Ellaria Sand (played by Indira Varma) without much of a reason. Just imagine the plight of Alexander Siddig, someone must have told him, “You are there in season 6. Only for 2 minutes in the first episode. You read a letter and are stabbed to death.”

Also, why kill him when you can just take his wheelchair away? How far he could have gone???

As I saw him sitting in his wheelchair, I couldn’t help but think, if Game of Thrones was real history, this could have been one of the first wheelchairs. Then I asked myself, why was the first wheelchair ever invented? Wheel is fine, but wheelchair, why?? How many disabled or paralyzed people it took for someone to think, “What if we make a chair with wheels? We can just let those without legs roll. We can also go lame bowling.”

3. Jaime screws up big-time

Jaime Lannister returned unsuccessfully from Dorne, as Myrcella was poisoned. Yeah, he might have brought her in one piece, but that was surely not the deal. As a married man, I was shit scared. If I mess up the grocery list, my wife treats me like a shopping cart and drags me to the mall and makes me watch her shop. Though Cersei is not Jaime’s wife, but we all know how unreasonable she can be. Even here, she is totally unpredictable. We thought she will go all Pearl Harbour on Jaime, but no, she is super calm and gentle. Thankfully, Jaime didn’t ask her, “What happened to your hair???”, else he would have to start using that gold hand more often.

JaimeandCersei

4. Khaleesi Gains Weight!!!

Khaleesi has gained weight. Khaleesi was picked up by Drogon and dropped off at a random land, where Dothrakis take her to the new Khal Moro. She is still trying to play the “Mother of Dragon” card and is equally annoying. The only difference is she has put on weight. We don’t know the reason. Drogon might have been firing up the barbeque for her, but Khaleesi’s slightly heavier look is of concern. If she ever gets to sit on the iron throne, she should at least fit in it. I hope she loses weight at the Khal Widow Women’s Association or the KWMM (Khal Widhwa Mahila Mandal).

khaleesifat

5. Melisandre is the bathtub lady from “The Shining”

We were hoping that Melisandre does something to him. She does come back and show us the first pair of titties for season 6, but the joy was short-lived. It is clearly inspired from Kubrick’s ‘The Shining’ where a pretty hot lady turns into an old hag as she kisses Jack Nicholson.

theshiningmeme

The big kept secret is still a secret. Is Jon Snow really dead? I mean he is almost, but why aren’t they destroying the body yet??? Bury him, burn him, but do something. He is not doing anything just lying down there. Everyone says he is dead, but unless they destroy his body completely, there is still hope.

jonsnow

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6 responses »

  1. You are a bigoted asshole your post is a farce and mirrors everything that is wrong with this society that thrives on shaming other people.
    You don’t even understand the length and breath of what is The Game Of Thrones and fancy yourself by writing an article that is greatly preposterous.

    People like you are the reason why game of thrones gets such a bad reputation. People like you bark without having anything to say just for the sake of barking. Disgusting.

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