Category Archives: Game of thrones

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1, Dragonstone – To Badass Women and Ed Sheeran!!!

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1,  Dragonstone – To Badass Women and Ed Sheeran!!!

Finally, the madness has started again. I watch this show from India, so I have to wake up early and do my business before I start watching, and get ready to go wherever I have to, because Winter is Coming and I need to work.

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Winter is here and it is sure as hell sending chills down the spine.

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1 – ‘Dragonstone’  starts with Walder Frey addressing a bunch of other asshole Freys and feasting as usual. For a second, I thought it’s still a recap and Arya is going to kill the fucker and feed him the ‘son pie’ again, but two minutes into the speech, we know it is Arya. She is really loving this ‘girl has no name’ game and she is good at it. All that spanking she got after her job at the spa has worked. Like a boss, she poisons the folks and just leaves. A real thug life moment.

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Silent Night Walkers!!!

While all this is going on, the Night Walkers are increasing in numbers day by day. They are just one plague away from building the largest army in the world. If they conduct elections in the seven kingdom, the Night King will sure become the president. Thankfully, it is no democracy, and the ruler of the kingdom will be decided the most entertaining way, by making other people fight for them. I know Game of Thrones is fiction and not history, but history stopped being entertaining since we got democracy and this series is far from being that.

Badass Women of GOT!!!

This show is known for some badass women, and this episode kind of focuses on them Arya, Sansa, Brienne of Tarth and most importantly Lyanna Mormont of the Bear Island. What Lyanna did today will give any feminist multiple orgasms. The way she silences the old fellow at Night’s Watch daily post dinner totally pointless convention is just meme worthy moment of the show. She says women will train too, so fuck off. The way Brienne and Sansa smirk at the exact moment when her speech is on, shows the tiny little feminist uprising of the amazing women of Game of Thrones.

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Lyanna brushed her teeth!!!

At the same convention, you can witness Sansa’s and Jon’s power struggle, Sansa wants to kill the Umbers and Karstarks, because that’s what you do on the show, kill people. Age or sex doesn’t matter. The only people not killed so far are the Eunuchs (may be one eunuch), who shows no signs of dying or ageing. Jon Snow was pissed when Sansa speaks out of turn and on top of it, she wants to kill people. He also tells her separately, you are going all Cersei right now and you are less than half her age. If you have seen Sansa in season 1, she is one annoying woman, but most annoying women get what they want.

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Sansa’s eyes look like those of White Walkers!!!

Why can’t men leave the women alone?

Petyr Baelish and Tormund really need to step up their game. Petyr cannot be trusted, so we really don’t want him to get what he wants from Sansa, but Tormund is a nice guy and is trying to get a girl way out of his league. There is a moment, when Brienne asks Sansa, “What does he want?” and she says, “I know what he wants!!”. Littlefinger the bastard!!!

Cersei and Jamie take Geography lessons!!!

Cersei has fucked up. Burning the sept and people in it, was not necessary and she knows she fucked up. The problem is, she is not willing to accept it. She looks for an ally in Euron Grejoy, who is willing to help her, but he wants to marry her. He has no idea what he is getting into. Seriously what’s with the men on the show. They can get all the girls they want, but they want to do stupid shit for that one women.

Samwell Tarly’s first year of graduation!!!

Samwell Tarly has had a tough life, but he finally reached the library. Unfortunately, his first year of graduation is fucked. He is cleaning shit and cooking food that looks like shit. He is for sure living a shitty life right now, but we all know he is going to be the game changer. I watched that shit cleaning scene while having my breakfast and it was pretty gross. This is what it sounds like …

 

He is not getting access to the Restricted Area and is forced to weigh brains and clean up after post mortem. So he decides to steal. No matter how timid his character is shown to be, he is the one who holds the key to defeating the white walkers, especially after Cersei used up all her Wildfire burning religious people.

 

Hahaha that’s Ed Sheeran and a sexist soldier!!!

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Fuck that’s Ed Sheeran!!!

So, Arya plans to take her killing spree to King’s Landing and just stumbles upon a bunch of soldiers eating rabbits and singing songs. Just Game of Thrones things. One of them happens to be Ed Sheeran and you are like hahahaha that’s Ed Sheeran. Fuck that’s actually Ed Sheeran. Arya tells Ed Sheeran and his soldier friends I want to kill the queen and they are like go ahead we don’t give  a shit. One of them is expecting a baby and wants it to be a girl, because girls take care of their fathers and boys go off to fight. In a way Arya is doing both, so she really doesn’t dignify the soldier’s sexist statement with a response.

Sandor Cleagane has a heart!!!

A couple of seasons back, Sandor Cleagane, the hound had robbed an old man and his daughter and taken away their silver. He goes back to the same house. Last time he was there, he had rabbit stew and landed himself a job. He was an asshole then, but this time he looks into the fire, checks out white walkers and has a change of heart. The mistake he commits is, he buries them. Come on, it’s season 7. By this time, you need to start burning the dead, no matter how old they are.

Daenerys has taken back the Dragonstone without saying a word!!!

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Khaleesi lands at the Dragonstone. It was pretty easy for her as Stannis abandoned and it was just left there like an orphan. This was still an emotional moment for Dany, who took back the castle for Targaryens. She reaches there and like a true boss asks – “Shall we Begin???”. I hope they don’t follow up with a dance, because that will be weird.

Jorah the Sick!!!

They have not shown his face properly, but the only one so curious about Daenerys Targaryen can be Jorah Mormont, who seemed to be quarantined in the citadel as he is suffering from greyscale disease. Samwell is serving him food and cleaning his poop too. One day when he is taking back, what I assume is his poop, he scares the shit our of already disgusted Sam asking for the Khaleesi.

In conclusion, the women on the show are badass and the men are either friend zoned or stupid, except Ser Davos Seaworth, who pretty much did only this in today’s episode.

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Wise men don’t speak much!!!

It was a slow start to the season, but a much needed one as last two episode of previous season were absolute madness. It looks like we are well set for some madness in a much smaller season.

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GOT Season 6 Episode 9 – Battle of the Bastards, is Danny a Dyke? and Hounds of Winterfell!!!

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GOT Season 6 Episode 9 – Battle of the Bastards, is Danny a Dyke? and Hounds of Winterfell!!!

Warning: Spoilers ahead. You have been warned. Don’t cry later.

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The episode started with Masters destroying the shit out of Meereen and Danny’s WTF look. She was like, “you had one job Tyrion!!!”. This was the first time we got to see Tyrion going on the defensive, after of course Shae’s death. Danny was almost on the verge of firing Tyrion, but then she would be like Donald Trump, which she most definitely did not want. She has blonde hair, but here she is the outsider and not the one who claims to protect the kingdom against the outsiders.

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In fact, she is the one who leads hordes of Dothraki into Meereen. Her pyromania is getting out of control too. She wants to burn the masters (and almost everything), but Tyrion stops her from doing that. The surrender negotiations clearly show who is the boss and how she and Tyrion make an awesome team. Danny set it up and Tyrion finished it off. The big question is what is Lord Varys up to now.

Danny the Dyke with an awesome sense of humour???

When Yara Greyjoy comes to meet Danny, I am not too sure how they made it into Meeren, because only an idiot would like to enter the city, when dragons are burning the ships. This is when I noticed that Daenerys might have bisexual traits or could be a closet feminist.
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We know that Yara is both Lesbian and Feminist and Danny was responding quite nicely to her passes. If that happens, Westeros may end up getting the first bisexual ruler. This would have been a great boost for the Westeros LGBT community, especially the north, who have not seen a rainbow in ages due to the continuously gloomy weather. The dyke handshake between Danny and Yara was an indicator that things may go both ways for Daenerys if you know what I mean. There are some alternate fan theories, which suggest that Danny and Yara have become best friends, which may lead to further complications because Missandei has no other friends.

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It is clear that Tyrion doesn’t like dwarf jokes, despite him being cool about it for most of the series. Tyrion gets great joy in messing with a Greyjoy, especially if that twat has joked about him being a dwarf. That was the time when most of us didn’t like Tyrion much, only because he was a Lannister. Tyrion resists joking about Theon’s cock because it is not there anymore.

Build up to the battle of bastards

We have been waiting for this for a while now, but the hype was most definitely worth it. A lot of us hate Ramsay Bolton, but in this episode, he was at his coolest best. The fact that this was aired on father’s day made it far more interesting because seriously he was missing his father (Roose Bolton’s) smartness and intelligence before and during the battle. People hate Ramsay, but we need to understand that he is just someone who loves to watch the world burn, play games and kill people.

During the pre-battle meeting, he clearly pointed out his intention of not giving a shit about the free folks or Jon Snow and his offer to fight one on one. That was definitely Jon Snow’s ‘Yo Mama’ moment and Ramsay acknowledged that with a classic, ‘He is Good’. There was no good reason for Ramsay to fight this one. He was not the one who took Winterfell from Starks. He took it from Theon. The only real crime he committed was Sansa’s marital rape, all other actions were necessary to remain warden of the north. So while facing his enemy he did not look scared did most of the things right. Unfortunately, he was overconfident and underestimated Sansa.

Jon Snow ignored Sansa’s warning because he rightly thought she was a dumb cunt. She might have saved the day, but from the previews of the season finale, she has got everyone into bigger trouble.

Battle of Bastards

Battle of bastards has left everyone speechless.  If you have seen “The Watchers on the Wall” then you know how can remember how you hated the giants and wildlings. The beauty of Game of Thrones is that it makes you realise hate is temporary.  You develop a love for the characters with time, just like we hated Jaime initially, but started loving him, the moment he became Tyrion’s only friend, our feelings for the Giants have changed with time. Wun Wun, who was the only surviving giant and Jon had him on his side. He was Jon’s cheat card in the battle and the only reason why the Starks could make breach Winterfell.

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The battle started with typical Ramsay games, as he released Rickon Stark, and shot arrows in his direction. Rickon could have survived the game had he seen Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto, but his fate was sealed the moment Sansa said that he is going to die.

 

Jon Messed up!!!

This was Jon Snow’s Bollywood moment. He realised that Rickon is dead and he just went for the Bolton army. A dick move in my opinion. He neither Daenerys nor Sunny Deol from Gadar.

Thankfully the free folks charged for it and Jon Snow did know nothing. He was absolutely clueless, more clueless than Sansa in Season 1. One thing I failed to understand was that the Free Folks had moved to a comparatively less cold region and still they were wearing the same clothes. Beyond the wall, it is pretty cold, in Winterfell too, but he fur jackets was a bit too much. This is just stereotyping the wildlings. Going by the type of temperatures they can withstand, I think they could have easily fought in their undergarments, but let’s leave that visual for another day.

Even the biggest Jon Snow fan can easily tell you that he had messed up by being emotional and lacked battle tactics. He just went for it and got caught in the trap. Ramsay was the clear winner here and had Jon Snow where he wanted. While discussing the battle plans, Jon said they couldn’t attack them from both the sides, to which Tormund gave WTF are you talking about look and that’s exactly what happened. Only Ramsay could use a pile of dead bodies as a wall to trap his enemy. Jon was absolutely in no control of his troops. This was not the same calm and composed Jon Snow we witnessed in the battle against the wildlings. His death in a stampede would have been a tragedy, but that’s the moment, we realised that the day belonged to Sansa. As the Knights of the Vale charged, Ramsay was caught by surprise. He was not there fighting, which was most definitely his undoing. A battle well fought by Ramsay ended in defeat for him. That Sansa marital rape came back to bite him in the ass.

Hounds of Winterfell

After watching the episode, I think Hounds of Winterfell would have been an appropriate title for the episode. Ramsay shot an arrow through Wun Wun’s eye. Jon wanted to punch Ramsay to death, but Sansa wanted to feed him to the hounds. A bit dramatic, but something we all wished and craved for. After Ramsay’s death things may change for good, but we all know that something twisted is coming up. Knights of the Vale are involved now, giving Petr Baelish full charge of things in Winterfell. The audience has learnt this long back that trusting him can be their biggest mistake.

This is undoubtedly the best episode of the series. The kind of episode that wants you to go binge watch the previous 6 seasons. Sadly, it’s one more to go and a year long wait!!! 😥

I leave you with this extended footage of Jon punching  Ramsay.