Category Archives: Media

Dear USA – Elections are just the beginning!!!

Dear USA – Elections are just the beginning!!!

Dear United States of America,

By the time you read this, the 2016 Presidential elections must have been over, or you might be on your way to cast your vote or might just be hanging out somewhere not giving a shit about all this.  Many of you might be relieved that the elections are finally over, but it will be foolish to say that everything will go back to normal. With the conclusion of these elections, the game has just begun.Breaking News – The ugly game has just begun with these elections. 


First of all, congratulations on the 2nd most divisive elections of the century. You have now achieved something we accomplished back in 2014. The Hillary v/s Trump battle must have been a shock for you, but for us Indians, it was a wonderful retrospection. Before 2014, we did not know that we could have been so divided. Unity in diversity was our strength, but in 2014 all of our diversity was divided into two parts. Something on the lines of – The Right Wingers and The Liberals. These divisions have always been there in your society, but this time it is more like, “If you are not with me, screw you, your mum and your chef” divided. These two sections of the society claim that they unconditionally love the nation as long as you believe in ‘their idea of the nation’. I have been unfriended by my so called liberal friends because, in 2014, I supported the political party with a more right wing inclination. I never wanted to silence the voices of my pro-left friends, because unless we hear opposing voices, we cannot correct ourselves and also they are way cooler than my right wing friends to hang out with. Now I get a feeling that our society has been deeply fractured and the damage is irreparable. I see something similar happening in the USA and no matter who comes to power unless you get a hold of yourself or to put in a language you would understand, “Unless you get your shit together” matters are just going to get worse. 


My Indian friends often ridicule fellow Indians who are interested in the US elections, but then we have every right to do so. The USA for a long time has been acting like that plumber, in a porn movie, who claims to help you, but instead screws you wife and leaves. It is USA’s increasing interference in other nations that makes us feel interested in your elections. Even though we had our own election two years back and it was tiring one, still watching you guys have a go at each other is a wonderful reminder of the old days. 

Why are the two elections similar?

In 2014, we had an incumbent ruling party i.e. Indian National Congress (INC) that was corrupt, inefficient and to some extent totally useless. The traditional right-wing party, “Bharatiya Janata Party” has had its series of brief love affairs with the Indian people, but a lack of strong leadership usually kept them away from the centre. In 2014, they found really strong and decisive leader in Narendra Modi, who was viewed  by Indians as a ‘Messiah’ to end the domination of corrupt INC. The BJP supporters took their support to social media platforms, which initially was met with no opposition, as people seriously had no time to give a shit about politics earlier. Soon this support turned almost into an uprising, and opposing voices realised that they need to do something. They revived the old rhetoric of ‘2002 Gujarat Riots’ and started holding the then Chief Minister of Gujarat directly responsible for the riots and killing of thousands of Muslims. In the meanwhile, the right started bashing Congress and anyone supporting them with charges of corruption. Both sides were shamelessly going at each other. So the fight that started as someone v/s the corrupt incumbent government, changed to ‘Corrupt and Useless Incumbent’ v/s ‘Rise of the Right Wing Bigot’. Rings a bell???

Obama administration might not be as bad as the Indian National Congress because no one can be as bad as Indian National Congress. Still, there are serious charges against Hillary Clinton, who is in a way representing the incumbent administration. Their foreign policies have got the world into a sort of a mini shit storm. People in the US are not happy with the quality of jobs, even these jobs are being taken away by immigrants, so there is some anger which was leveraged by Donald Trump to build a strong case against the government. His comments against Muslims and Mexicans created an image of a bigot but seen by his supporters as someone who is truly patriotic. He has successfully revived the feelings of nationalism amongst his supporters. Hillary’s pro-immigration stand just acted like fuel to this fire. The Pro-Hindu message by Modi government was literally copied by Donald Trump. 

The Mischevious Role of Media:

Media is said to be a reflection of the society, but in 2014, this mirror was broken for us and everyone saw their own version of the reflection. Media channels had taken sides.

They have adjusted the amplifiers and filters as per their inclination. Normally it’s the government that does the brainwashing, but during Indian elections, every political outfit was doing it. Brainwashing by media was had turned the common man into brain bashers. Social media in the times of this political chaos acts like the rat that deserts the sinking ship. You know the shit has hit the fan when memes turn political. Before 2014, I logged in to Facebook because it was a fun place to hang out, so was twitter. After 2014 elections, I moved to the sites in the US, because Indian websites and social media pages had all turned political. American pages were doing just fine until Hillary bought them off (at least the pages I follow). Websites like Mashable, Uproxx and even individuals like George Takei started showing a political bias, which left me clueless, ‘where to next’. Thank god for Xvideos, which is still not political and should continue to remain so. 

Things just get worse from here!!! 

By the time you read this, you might have already known who the President is, but this is just the beginning. It does not get over with the elections. It gets scarier and deadlier. The losing side starts taking it personally and goes into a rage. The rational criticism of the government turns into blind criticism. This is countered by blind support and faith in the government. This makes a perfect recipe for disaster. The chain of events can lead to the kind of explosion which won’t hurt physically but is mentally taxing and injurious to the society. 


I have never seen a society more vocal, more associating themselves with the politicians. Earlier, I thought the politicians divided us, but in 2014 it was pretty clear that they were just highlighting or exposing the differences amongst us and we took care of the rest. People I have liked, I have been close friends with started looking at me as a monster, I started hating them too, but this idea of listening to the opposing voices is deeply programmed in my DNA, thanks to the ass whooping given by my teachers in the school, that’s why I did not block them or unfriend them. Unfortunately, they have. I see the Americans going down a similar road. You cannot recover soon unless you make efforts to do so. With this blog, I want to request my Indian and American friends to get together and restore some sanity in the society. Let us show the governments and anyone else, that they cannot divide us any further. Let us show them that people with opposing views can exist. Let us pick the best and progress rather that saying that I am the best and that’s the only way we can progress. 

Let’s love, let’s talk, let’s listen and most importantly let’s think!!! 


Why are we treating Sachin Tendulkar and Lata Mangeshkar as untouchables?

Why are we treating Sachin Tendulkar and Lata Mangeshkar as untouchables?

If Sachin Tendulkar is the world’s best cricketer and Lata Mangeshkar the best playback singer in India, then why are we treating them like untouchables? Untouchability was abolished long back then why do we still separate some people from the masses and don’t allow others to joke about them?

The fact is we in Indian society have designed a way everyone is supposed to live their lives. Any variance will be dealt with strictly and we will go after you. The problem is, you won’t realize the danger unless this rule is applied against you.

To get a context of what I am saying, you need to first look at the below clip by AIB’s Tanmay Bhat.


A lot of people are upset about Tanmay’s video saying that he cannot disrespect Sachin or he should not talk about Lataji’s death. The harsh reality is that everyone dies. God forbid if that day ever comes for these two legends, I have no idea how I will react, but I know one thing for sure, on that day, death won’t discriminate. If death does not discriminate between the successful or unsuccessful, the rich and poor, why should comedy?

Tanmay Bhat is a comedian and you might not like his style of comedy. It is your right to do so, but blowing things out of proportion is unnecessary. People say that insulting these legends is not comedy. I say what’s funny is not insulting. In a world of your word v/s mine, there are no winners. If you find it funny, laugh about it, if you don’t, just ignore it. A comedian’s job is tough. He will do anything to make you laugh. Make fun of his parents, wife, siblings, grandfather, political situation, religion, sportsperson etc. In this noisy world, people these days have become so snobbish that is difficult to make them listen to you, leave alone make them laugh. Under such circumstances, by tying a comedian’s hands further, we are muting few voices that are willing to speak up.

I also understand that a political party has filed a case against Tanmay Bhat. This is the same party that has been under fire for making speeches and has had its freedom of speech under threat. In that case they should know the best how it is to be at the receiving end of something so horrible. All of us want to speak and when someone tells us what to speak and what not to speak, it hurts? You are like, “Tu hi bol le bhenchod!!” (You say it brother of a beloved sister).

Above all, the fact is Sachin and Lataji both are not expected to be upset about this. They might be too preoccupied with what they are doing. Knowing Sachin, he might not react to this, but may come out of retirement, score a century and answer him with the bat. On the other hand Lataji doesn’t’ even have to say anything she can just sing about it with that beautiful voice of hers.

What we can do is, just wait and watch as once again, the more important issues have been overshadowed by a simple joke, which was unintentional and above all really funny.

We need to stop treating people like untouchables even if it’s the god himself (or herself) and start treating jokes as jokes.

By changing your Facebook profile pic, you have signed up for the world’s biggest ORGY!!!

By changing your Facebook profile pic, you have signed up for the world’s biggest ORGY!!!

By changing your profile pic, you have actually signed up for the world’s biggest orgy dated 30th Oct 2015.

Spiderman Orgy


Recently when India’s Prime Minister did what he does best, visited a foreign country called USA to meet Mark Zuckerberg, both of them painted their DPs with something resembling the Indian tricolor to support Digital India campaign. Ladies and gentleman, I am sorry to break this to you, but Facebook has duped you into signing up for the world’s biggest orgy and it is not  This orgy will be full of tall men and sexy women. Do you really want to be a part of something as immoral as this?


Anyone who has changed his/her profile picture has automatically accepted an invitation to this orgy. If you are not present you will be castrated. The orgy will be organized across the globe and will be live streamed on Facebook. The orgy will be available in 14 different Indian languages, which includes Tamil, Marathi, Hindi and of course Gujarati. Looney Darindey strongly supports this move and suggests that you show up with a truly nationalist chaddi (underwear) for this orgy. While the orgy is no contest, but land of Kamasutra has a lot at stake.


We know that we are not fit enough to try any of the asans mentioned in Kamasutra, except Gujaratis who can try besan, still we have to put an amazing show.


Below are some FAQs which should clear all your doubts about this Facebook Maha Orgy –

Q. Can I get my wife along?

A. No matter how ugly she is, we will find a man for her.

Q. What do I do with my kids when I am at the orgy?

A. It is not easy to become an irresponsible parent in India, but we can totally help you with this. We can give you nice plastic bags with a duct tape to silence your kids. If you want, we can also lock up your kids in the basement with Sharma uncle, who is known for his love of kids

Q. How long will the orgy last?

A. Longer than your husband has ever lasted.

Q. What is the age limit?

A. Anyone above 18 is allowed as long as it is a human and is not a severe case of HIV.

Q. Is outside food allowed?

A. Yes. As long as you are willing to swallow and not spit.

Q. What if I don’t show up?

A. If you are a woman, we will eat you out. If you are a man, we don’t give a shit. Really don’t show up.

Q. What are the expectations of us?

A. Grow up and stop taking Facebook seriously.

Seriously people, this Digital India and debate has gone way too far. People don’t care whether you want to paint your profile pic and look like a dick or you want to oppose it with stupid articles and look like a dick. Still, if you have anymore questions about the orgy, please mail us at

Meanwhile in Australia…


Divide and Drool – Yakub Hanging, People’s President and Media Monkeys

Divide and Drool – Yakub Hanging, People’s President and Media Monkeys

There was a time when I saw a man in khadi with a ‘jhola’ on his shoulders, grown beard and speaking some real logical stuff. This so called ‘Patrakaar’ had dedicated his life to bring out the truth. He really had a commanding personality. The kind that makes you feel like a dumb cunt for not focusing more in your social studies class. He meant what he wrote, as his words has real substance. With time, the substance has evaporated and what remains is a clown dressed as an actor from a ‘Nautanki’. The beard has lost its importance as even Rahul Gandhi has started growing one. The ‘patrakaar’ is not neutral as he/she has taken sides, either right or left or centre.


The media these days has turned rapist. Not just evil, but hardcore rapist. They want to divide us, more like spread our legs and fuck us over and over again. They can divide us for different reasons – Caste (that card is kind of getting old now), language (can be brought up once in a while), sexual orientation (gays v/s straight – worked for a while), aam v/s VIP (has been there for centuries) and the favorite is religion (that one always works man).

So whenever, someone in any of the media channels gets an erection for TRP or whatever other reason, they have a simple road-map to intellectual orgasm – Engage and Outrage.

Let’s take the burning example of Yakub Memon’s hanging. Eid was few days back and as if going to iftar was not enough for these minority appeasing monkeys, they had to cash in on the Yakub Memon issue. The fun fact is that they started saying that these blasts were a reaction to 1992 Bombay riots. The logic is similar to, “I raped her, because she provoked me”. The hypocrisy doesn’t end here. They have been shouting 2002 2002 2002 for past 13 years, but never acknowledged the fact that it was a reaction to Godhra train massacre. I am defending neither, and no man in a sane state of mind should encourage or embrace violence in any form, but there must be some consistency. To sell news, it may be beneficial to engage one and outrage the other. In Yakub’s case, they took this to the next level. ‘Engage all and Outrage all’.

About the 40 odd petitioners, who think poor Yakub was not a terrorist and should not be hanged, were you wanking off for last twenty years, when the case was being contested? Why these idiots woke up at the last moment, when the whole fight was lost. Why now? Are you trying to build an image of ‘Heroes who at least tried’ in the mind of vulnerable Muslims? They always think of Muslims as nothing but a big barbeque party, where they can go and get their meat whenever they want. What Muslims need is a true visionary leader, who will transform their lives in a meaningful way and stop the world from exploiting them as a vote bank. Do they really want one such leader is the real question?

The hanging was obviously ironic; as it was on the day the funeral of Dr. Kalam, one of the greatest brain, heart and soul in the country was planned. He was a Muslim and all of us were proud of him. We loved him and still do, because we respect the deeds and not the religion. It hurts because in the morning newspaper, Yakub’s hanging had taken centre stage and Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was pushed in one small corner. It just shows their priority. Let us push aside science and education and let us give importance to religious fanaticism, because that’s what sells.

indian express

Dr. Kalam’s contribution in 1999 Pokhran explosion was enormous, and a real turning point in India’s future. It was this explosion that shook up and woke up the world up and they started looking at India as a technology destination. The engineers of this country not only drew inspiration, but also got jobs because of his heroic deed. Yes, there were economic sanctions for a while, but he showed what we are made of and then that historic Clinton visit happened, which literally shaped our future. Sadly, all his contributions were overshadowed and the dark clouds of terrorism had taken over the news

As a kid, my parents told us, please listen to the news, they are informative. My partially blind grandfather used to tune in to the radio almost till his last moments. News channels these days have become source of high blood pressure. News channels these days are much more dangerous than the video games. At least, you can choose what video games to play.

Still, not all media guys are bad or rather opinionated. Recently, there was a case in Kolkata, where a man was living with his sister’s corpse for months. The article was so beautifully written that you can feel the pain. The act may sound hideous to many, but the article brought out the agony behind the crime, without causing any outrage. The fact is, I have always admired the folks from the media. I believe that these fiery and sincere journalists can change the world. I have always thought that this fourth pillar of democracy in incorruptible, but off late with this mad frenzy of becoming the “Exclusive”, “No. 1”, “Breaking News” etc. I feel you are losing track of your objective. As an honest citizen, I want you to question the government and society for their actions, but it hurts to see you glorify the terrorists for your selfish interests. He could have been hanged and we could have been done with, but you had to create this feeling of injustice and deprivation and once again alienate my Muslim friends. ‘Divide and Drool’ is fine if you are selling butter or KFC, but is a dangerous strategy when you are selling news, because, the day we wake up, the day the common people realize that you are making a third degree ‘Chutiya’ we won’t forgive you.