Category Archives: TV Series

GOT Season 6 Episode 2 – Tyrion still drinks and knows things, Arya sucks at begging! and yeah kill the comedian!!

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GOT Season 6 Episode 2 – Tyrion still drinks and knows things, Arya sucks at begging! and yeah kill the comedian!!

Season 6 episode 2, ‘Home’, finally reveals the one thing that we have been waiting for. Before you go ahead or read any further, “This post is dark and full of spoilers”.

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  1. The annoying raven is back.

Brandon Stark and the Three-Eyed Raven have gone into their ‘Warg’ like mode and are doing their usual “Netflix and Chill”. Suddenly, the old dude realizes that Game of Thrones is on HBO and tells Bran it’s enough. They were checking out Ned Stark fighting with people. Fortunately, this time, he doesn’t get his head chopped off, but the old dude doesn’t want Bran to get addicted, so he pulls the plug and they are back in their dungeon of dry sticks.  Meera Reed and the weird girl are both sitting outside in a weird Indian style shitting posture, discussing shit. The only important takeaway from this scene is, “Hodor can talk!!!”. Yes, he can and it’s more than “Hodor”. I think he is tired of just hanging out at the set doing “Hodor Hodor” and wants to exercise his freedom of speech.

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  1. Stand-Up Comedian is killed by the Mountain

This episode is special because we witnessed a brief stand-up act, an informal one. Obviously, it was in a cheap pub, an open room. It was not an ideal setup for comedy, but the guy was funny as his act was about fucking the queen. Mountain, that bastard, killed him while he was peeing. We all know that killing comedians was pretty much an old thing and Game of Thrones reminded us of that. On the bright side, at least he got to pee on the mountain.

  1. Arya sucks as a beggar.

Waif, Arya’s weird massage partner from the spa is back to beating the shit out of a begging Arya. I think she is being punished for being a pathetic beggar. Seriously so many days of begging and not a single penny in her bowl. One may be from the last week, but Arya can certainly do better. Jaqen H’ghar is a man with a heart, if he is a human being at all, but he is into weird shit. Watch two girls fight, one of them is blind, maybe the girls are underage. This guy has some weird fetish. As LVG may say, “It is not ok to hit a blind girl with a stick unless it’s ‘Sex Masochism’.

  1. High Sparrow is still a bitch!!!

Marcella is sleeping like a dead baby with the weird eye thing, we saw Tywin Lannister do at the beginning of season 5. This is the same place where Jamie and Cersei ‘did it’ when Joffrey died. Tommen, who was a good boy is losing his shit. Lack of sex is turning him into Joffrey. Jaime tried to kill High Sparrow, who clearly warned Jaime that this is nothing as he has been through worse in his weekly Beastality sessions. Every time he is on screen, I feel that he just made out with a cow. It’s either that or he is an ancestor of Bernie Sanders.

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  1. Ramsay is still an asshole, treats his brother like dog food and Theon Greyjoy is going to get fucked again!!!

Ramsay is doing his mad thing again and is the reason for 3 key deaths in this episode. These are far more brutal than Sansa sex and obviously, one of them involves the dogs. This bastard, I mean literally is now Lord Bolton and it is going to be fucked up on several levels.

For some strange reason, Theon Grejoy wants to go back to the Greyjoy’s without a cock. One thing I love about this series is their commitment to kill the characters. They called the Greyjoys back, just to fucking drop Balon Greyjoy from a wooden swinging bridge in Iron Islands.

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  1. Tyrion drinks and he knows things

Tyrion is that one character who is loved by most, except of course Donald Trump. This time, Tyrion does what he does best, “Drinks and knows things” and casually he goes to free the dragons. Kind of things midgets do when they are drunk are really amazing.

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  1. He is back, but it’s not too exciting!!!

Ser Davos is doing his wise thing again. I guess he has figured out that he is not getting any mutton, so they might as well fight. The bastard is lucky and this is the first time, we are happy seeing the wildlings since Ygritte died. We all knew what Melisandre was going to do to Jon Snow and she really did it. I mean she is an old hag in reality, but because of that one act of bringing Jon Snow back, we can forgive her for being one. With all those deaths in Game of Thrones, she is going to be in really high demand to bring people back. For some reason, they kept his body way too long for us to be excited about Jon Snow coming back. In fact, he was never gone. Bolton’s death was for some reason a far bigger surprise than Jon Snow being alive. The best thing is that all the people had left when he came to life. So when they are in the other rooms doing their thing and suddenly Jon Snow shows up in his underwear, the reactions are going to be of epic proportions. We know two people who are really fucked, Ser Alliser and Olly.

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Finally, Jon is back, dragons are back, giants are back, wildlings are back, Greyjoys are back, this episode ‘Home’, feels like one big homecoming for several characters. In case, of some like Balon Greyjoy, they just came and left.

“What is dead may never die!!!”

Death Count: 

Major deaths – (4 – 1 = 3)

Minor Deaths – 3 (including the comedian)

 

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Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 1: Khaleesi Gains weight as Arya goes begging!!!

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Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 1: Khaleesi Gains weight as Arya goes begging!!!

Game of Thrones is back. It’s like happy new year for all the Game of Thrones fans, or is it?? If you are not based out of the US, there is a high probability that you have not seen this episode yet, so beware of the spoilers ahead.

Parts of Season 6 episode 1, “The Red Woman” leave an impression that it is copied from a lot of Hollywood or even Bollywood movies and obviously there is enough stereotyping to make cats look cute.

  1. Arya is Blind

We all know that Arya was blinded in the Season 5 Finale. She lost her eyesight and they made here do what all blind people do? Beg!!!

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I mean they could have easily helped her start a Telephone booth (or in this case raven booth) out of the government’s disabled or blind quota. Still, they left her begging in the streets of Bravos. Then comes her co-masseuse bitch from the ‘Man Needs Face’ spa, who wants to fight Arya. She starts beating the shit out of Arya as if she wants to train her. This clearly reminded me of Ajay Devgan’s Jigar, (which itself is copied from Bloodsport).

 

2. Wheelchair Doran

From the beating of blind people to killing of lame people. Doran Martell an otherwise peaceful character was murdered by Ellaria Sand (played by Indira Varma) without much of a reason. Just imagine the plight of Alexander Siddig, someone must have told him, “You are there in season 6. Only for 2 minutes in the first episode. You read a letter and are stabbed to death.”

Also, why kill him when you can just take his wheelchair away? How far he could have gone???

As I saw him sitting in his wheelchair, I couldn’t help but think, if Game of Thrones was real history, this could have been one of the first wheelchairs. Then I asked myself, why was the first wheelchair ever invented? Wheel is fine, but wheelchair, why?? How many disabled or paralyzed people it took for someone to think, “What if we make a chair with wheels? We can just let those without legs roll. We can also go lame bowling.”

3. Jaime screws up big-time

Jaime Lannister returned unsuccessfully from Dorne, as Myrcella was poisoned. Yeah, he might have brought her in one piece, but that was surely not the deal. As a married man, I was shit scared. If I mess up the grocery list, my wife treats me like a shopping cart and drags me to the mall and makes me watch her shop. Though Cersei is not Jaime’s wife, but we all know how unreasonable she can be. Even here, she is totally unpredictable. We thought she will go all Pearl Harbour on Jaime, but no, she is super calm and gentle. Thankfully, Jaime didn’t ask her, “What happened to your hair???”, else he would have to start using that gold hand more often.

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4. Khaleesi Gains Weight!!!

Khaleesi has gained weight. Khaleesi was picked up by Drogon and dropped off at a random land, where Dothrakis take her to the new Khal Moro. She is still trying to play the “Mother of Dragon” card and is equally annoying. The only difference is she has put on weight. We don’t know the reason. Drogon might have been firing up the barbeque for her, but Khaleesi’s slightly heavier look is of concern. If she ever gets to sit on the iron throne, she should at least fit in it. I hope she loses weight at the Khal Widow Women’s Association or the KWMM (Khal Widhwa Mahila Mandal).

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5. Melisandre is the bathtub lady from “The Shining”

We were hoping that Melisandre does something to him. She does come back and show us the first pair of titties for season 6, but the joy was short-lived. It is clearly inspired from Kubrick’s ‘The Shining’ where a pretty hot lady turns into an old hag as she kisses Jack Nicholson.

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The big kept secret is still a secret. Is Jon Snow really dead? I mean he is almost, but why aren’t they destroying the body yet??? Bury him, burn him, but do something. He is not doing anything just lying down there. Everyone says he is dead, but unless they destroy his body completely, there is still hope.

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