By changing your profile pic, you have actually signed up for the world’s biggest orgy dated 30th Oct 2015.
Recently when India’s Prime Minister did what he does best, visited a foreign country called USA to meet Mark Zuckerberg, both of them painted their DPs with something resembling the Indian tricolor to support Digital India campaign. Ladies and gentleman, I am sorry to break this to you, but Facebook has duped you into signing up for the world’s biggest orgy and it is not Internet.org. This orgy will be full of tall men and sexy women. Do you really want to be a part of something as immoral as this?
Anyone who has changed his/her profile picture has automatically accepted an invitation to this orgy. If you are not present you will be castrated. The orgy will be organized across the globe and will be live streamed on Facebook. The orgy will be available in 14 different Indian languages, which includes Tamil, Marathi, Hindi and of course Gujarati. Looney Darindey strongly supports this move and suggests that you show up with a truly nationalist chaddi (underwear) for this orgy. While the orgy is no contest, but land of Kamasutra has a lot at stake.
We know that we are not fit enough to try any of the asans mentioned in Kamasutra, except Gujaratis who can try besan, still we have to put an amazing show.
Below are some FAQs which should clear all your doubts about this Facebook Maha Orgy –
Q. Can I get my wife along?
A. No matter how ugly she is, we will find a man for her.
Q. What do I do with my kids when I am at the orgy?
A. It is not easy to become an irresponsible parent in India, but we can totally help you with this. We can give you nice plastic bags with a duct tape to silence your kids. If you want, we can also lock up your kids in the basement with Sharma uncle, who is known for his love of kids
Q. How long will the orgy last?
A. Longer than your husband has ever lasted.
Q. What is the age limit?
A. Anyone above 18 is allowed as long as it is a human and is not a severe case of HIV.
Q. Is outside food allowed?
A. Yes. As long as you are willing to swallow and not spit.
Q. What if I don’t show up?
A. If you are a woman, we will eat you out. If you are a man, we don’t give a shit. Really don’t show up.
Q. What are the expectations of us?
A. Grow up and stop taking Facebook seriously.
Seriously people, this Digital India and internet.org debate has gone way too far. People don’t care whether you want to paint your profile pic and look like a dick or you want to oppose it with stupid articles and look like a dick. Still, if you have anymore questions about the orgy, please mail us at email@example.com.
Meanwhile in Australia…